Completely Incomplete (Chapter 1)

I am not going to put every quote in "quotes."




We began to believe that dating was just a training ground for divorce.  We had to have either a satisfying relationship with Christ or a romantic relationship with a significant other.  But we couldn't have both.

Our God isn't an either/or God.  He is a God of both/and.  He desires for you to have an intimate relationship with Him and a romantic relationship with another.

You can be madly in love with another because you are madly loved by God.  You can have both.

Successful couples never stop dating...

Dating is the training ground for loving, and when it is based on Christ-centered principles, you develop a fantastic, satisfying and... sexually fulfilling relationship that glorifies God.

There are many ways to fill a life, but there are relatively few ways to fulfill it.

Feelin' a Little Dissed

...I think it's fair to say that we've been "dissed" when it comes to finding love.  There has been disappointment and disillusionment.  We feel distance and disbelief.  We are discouraged and dissatisfied.  Our hearts have been utterly dismantled.  We have been fooled into playing a game of musical chairs where the music is Jaws and the chairs are already full.

The love that I speak of is a "re" love.  It wants you to return to the time when your heart was tender and your thoughts were pure.  It wants to restore the dreams of Prince Charming, sale-priced stilettos, fat-free chocolate bars, daily spa treatments, and engagement rings the size of large foreign fruit.  It wants to renew your faith in a love that will last forever... It wants you to receive all the things you've ever wanted but never had.

We have to stop believing that our friends have all the answers and that God has none.

It's Not about You

...if your focus is on what you can get out of a relationship, you are doomed to failure.

A successful relationship is not about you.

..."self" is the mortal enemy of love.  Self-satisfaction, self-gratification, and self-indulgence all lead to one undeniable outcome-- self-destruction.

Have you noticed that the only common element in every single one of your failed relationships is you?  Surrender.  Get yourself out of the way.  Let God do what He does best.

The problem is that when we focus on ourselves, we cannot possibly want what is best for someone else.  We may want what is best for them as long it aligns with our own personal happiness, but we won't want what is best for them if it conflicts with our desires.  This isn't love--this is self-interest masquerading as mutual edification.

Common sense will give you common results.  Heavenly logic is selfless.  If you want to receive, give; if you want to lead, serve; if you want to stand tall, kneel down; if you want to be loved, love.

The Fun Nazi

We perceive Christianity to be a list of rights and wrongs, dos and don'ts, cans and can'ts, haves and have nots, especially when it comes to relationships.  And let's be honest, nobody likes rules.  We thoroughly enjoy our freedom and we like having our choices.

Jesus taught us what it meant to be blessed... To be blessed is to experience abundant hope and joy...experience happiness at the deepest level, a place where the heart and soul smile.

...God isn't in the business of squelching your passions.  He is in the business of fulfilling them.

Colossians 2:23 "Such regulations have the appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lay lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence."

Fenced In and Set Free

...the fence was there to keep all the terrible things out...The fence is tall and sturdy, and He has given us plenty of room to date, build relationships, and discover our passions...the fence is for our safety and protection.

CONCLUSION

Love isn't about undressing our bodies--it is about undressing our hearts.  We have to strip off the layers of expectations, preconceived notions, and fears to experience a passion that will truly move us.  When we do, God is free to clothe us with a love that warms our souls and hearts.